The locker-room quip for which “golf” is an acronym - “gentlemen only, ladies forbidden” - may no longer be totally accurate but it certainly captures the sensibility of the game. Golf jokes, invariably evoking sex or religion, are a staple of stale pale-male humor. As the joke goes, the difference between boastful golfers and fishermen is that golfers don’t have to produce proof. Since it operates on the honor system, golf is convenient for lying cheats. He uses golf as a social lubricant for business, which is its most important function in American culture. To understand golf is to understand Trump.
Trump, who knew Madoff from Palm Beach, crowed about refusing to invest with him and later called him “a scoundrel without par.” It takes one… (He was, after all, a guest at Trump’s wedding to Marla Maples.)Īs for Madoff, long before his Ponzi scheme was busted, he was known for his oddly consistent, too-good-to-be-true golf scores. may be back home in Florida, maybe even golfing at Mar-a-Lago. As the Juice’s successful parole hearing was coming up recently, the former football hero told a friend, “We’ll be playing golf again soon.” Possibly as soon as October O.J. He’s also an avid golfer and has, in the past, enjoyed the rarified company of such criminal media celebrities as O.J. Trump is unquestionably a competent golfer, way better than average. It was onto such a green that Trump drove his cart - he looks to be in no shape to walk the course - and that is not only considered a moral crime in the world of golf, but an obvious defacement of grass meticulously preserved so a competent player can “read the green” and plan his or her final putts. The fairway, of course, leads to the green, a small, manicured area that contains the hole, the winner’s circle, the C-suite, the gated community, the Oval Office. A golf course is laid out as a hero’s journey. You strike out from the tees (usually at different distances from the hole for men and women) onto a long carpet called a “fairway” that winds among natural “hazards” to be avoided: small ponds, sand traps, patches of undergrowth representing the oceans, deserts and jungles that must be colonized or conquered on your 18-hole journey to capitalistic triumph. (Golf nomenclature, including “par” and “lie,” which is where the ball comes to rest after a shot, is too vulnerable to mockery to be addressed here.) Golf is marketed as a test of character - especially of those business school values of focus, perseverance and self-improvement. There has to be a better use for the millions of dollars that will be squandered this year on overpriced golf duds and equipment, lessons, playing fees and memberships in the latest trendy clubs (that these days often have you-know-who’s name on them in large golden letters).įor successful greedheads and their wannabes, golf is the most sacred of sports, the symbol of all that is retrograde and exclusionary in American life. Think of the affordable housing that could be built on that land. Think of all the organic vegetables that could be grown on those swards or the walking trails and wildlife sanctuaries that could be established. Golf is also a waste of space and water, and a sinkhole for chemicals poisoning the local aquifer. There’s far more to golf, however, than mere inequality or a history of institutional racism and sexism. It was time to start counting the days until he dropped off the scoreboard.įor successful greedheads and their wannabes, golf is the most sacred of sports, the symbol of all that is retrograde and exclusionary in American life. In doing so, he committed an unpardonable sacrilege in the high church of capitalism. On June 9, President Trump alienated his true base - the reactionary rich - by driving his golf cart onto the green at the Trump National Golf Club in Bedminster, New Jersey. While waiting for Trump to jump the tracks, let’s savor the day when his inevitable train wreck first passed through a critical safety switch. (Photo by Gustavo Caballero/Getty Images)
DORAL, FL - JANUARY 12: Donald Trump attends opening of Red Tiger Golf Course at Trump National Doral on Januin Doral, Florida.
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